The next steps
A very strange thing has been happening recently. I keep finding out that my high school classmates are engaged. Lots of them. Some of them are already married, and a few of them have kids. It happened to a good friend of mine too. I was just home to attend her wedding in fact, and all I could think about was meeting her in 5th grade as we bonded over mutual terror of our evil nun teacher. And practicing our slow-dance skills with pillows in my attic before the first school dances. And how, in high school, she would always talk about her crush on the boy from the bus (who, coinciden
tally, turned out to be her husband).
This is not an issue of being unable to let go of the past. I’m just in a bit of disbelief. She, and all those other former classmates are my age. At one point, we all were doing pretty much the same things–studying for math tests, complaining about cafeteria food, and calling our parents to pick us up from the movies. Most of us still look about the same as we did in high school too. Besides the odd person who put on or lost some weight, changed their hairstyle, got a new tattoo or something, these people basically look like the high schoolers I knew. That’s why it’s incredible to see their wedding pictures. This time they’re not getting dressed up to dance at the prom, and I know that the guy in the tux probably isn’t some stranger their cousin set them up with. Everyone can get drunk and do the YMCA legally now, (although I can’t say I’d be against outlawing the YMCA) and there probably won’t be rumors circulating in their offices the next week about how far the new couple went in the back of the limo. Or at least I hope not.
So this leads me to wonder, if they’re all getting married, is this something I’m supposed to be thinking about too? Judging by the panic that seized me as I typed that sentence, I’m going to wager that it’s not the right time for me. The whole marriage deal is a bit of a lifetime commitment if done correctly. Let’s just say that I’m in the market for a bit more of a short-term gig. I was actually thinking recently about how I’d like to get a dog, but I realized that even that requires a good deal of commitment. Frankly, I cannot say with certainty which country I’ll be in at this time next year.
Traveling with a dog, however, would involve considerably less baggage than doing so with a husband/family. Feed the dog twice daily, take it on walks, give it a tennis ball and it’s good. Husbands require jobs, cars, friends, and lots of other things that can’t be guaranteed when traveling often.
Now I’m not saying that I’m against marriage. Not at all. In fact, once I’m married it’s much more likely that I can finally get a dog. It’s just that, at this point, I can’t even decide what to do this summer let alone after that. Grad school? ‘Round the world sea-faring? Organic coffee farming? Tango lessons? Finally getting a full-time job? (Heh, obviously some of those are more likely than others…) So while I’m very happy for those friends and former classmates who are taking that big step, I guess I’m also kind of happy for me. I’m in the process of taking lots of different steps, and seeing where they take me. It’s kind of like a new dance I’m inventing. It gets a little complicated at times, but after all the steps I’ve practiced–from my attic to high school gyms and now to wedding receptions–I think I can handle it.
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